I love being a MOM !

So, I've been tagged again, by Reflections. But this time, its something close to my heart and brings such warmth thinking about it, that I am feeling sad that I should write ONLY 5 things I love being a Mom. If I my list goes beyond 5, I am not responsible, its the motherly instincts that have taken over me. OK !

1. First of all, I am so proud being a Mom, as I had created two wonderful lives inside me and when I look upon them now, so grown up (my daughters are teenagers) and taller than me, sometimes I choke with tears.

2. When ever my S starts telling my girls about his childhood days, my daughters call me and ask "Really, Mom ? Is that so?" Even for my husband's childhood stories (of which I was never a part of), the YES stamp has to come from me. When I point it out to them, they refuse to believe (even now, when they are little grown up) anything, without my nod. That kind of blind belief on me, makes me strive harder to be a better mother than what I am now.

3. The quiet afternoons on the bed, spent with my daughters, listening to their stories about friends, about their ideas of life, silly questions about sex, birth and my attempt at answering those without lying to them - those are such wonderful moments to die for. That is a time of realisation for me, on how much my daughters value my advice. I am absolutely delighted to be a part of their lives in moulding their careers, personality, behaviour - actually I am proud to be their MOM.

4. Those proud moments when my daughters gets appreciated in school for outstanding performance and when the teachers call us up and applaud for being gifted with such wonderful daughters - Oh! I am blessed to be a mother of these 2 girls.

5. When I am being credited for the creative skills which my daughter has inherited, I am elated. Sometimes, I can see that my daughters are desperately trying to do things the way I do. That is another proud moment to be a mother.

6. My life's best award was given by my daughters, when they go ooh hoo aah haa over my cooking. My little one always says that I should have been a Chef at a 5 star hotel for the way I am cooking or I should start my Cooking Show (like Nigella Lawson). Imagine being placed on par with Nigella !!! My girls favourite slogan goes like - Taste mein best, Mummy aur ..... (whatever dish they are eating right then).

7. Those moments when the girls ask me to repeat their childhood stories - again and again and again - make me a proud mother, but we've never got bored with the stories. The best times are also when we look through our photo album when my girls were in diapers.

8. When I being tightly hugged by both my girls, kissed on the cheek and flowered with the title - Mom, you are the best ! This is one moment which cannot equate my entire life on earth.

I think this list might just be going on, as there are many more moments to share. But, since this is a tag, I stop here convinced that Motherhood is indeed the greatest pedestal to be, indeed.

My Lessons !

I've been learning a few things in the past few days, which have made me pause and take a different look at life. These insights into life, make us a better human being for tomorrow.

Lesson 1 :

No person or incident can make you less happy in life. The happiness factor depends upon - how you react to the incident or the person.

Scene - Early morning 6.45 at the breakfast table.

My girls are having milk and scrambled egg for breakfast. I am busy plaiting my daughter's hair. At that time, I hear the horn of the school bus. OMG, the bus has come nearly 10 minutes early. My daughter, reacting to my frenzied pace, started gulping down her milk pretty fast. As I am requesting the bus driver to wait for my daughters, I hear my daughters plea to come and help her. Alas, the milk had spilled on her uniform.

Usual me - Start shouting at my girls for not being efficient in doing things, always being clumsy etc etc. My daughter will go to school with a grumpy face, which might affect her attentiveness at class. The screaming woman in me will be displayed to the hubby dear also, which can spoil his whole day at work.

The New Me - Because of my new learning, I faced the situation in a calm and peaceful way. I smiled at my daughter and said "Its OK, dear. It happens to us also. Don't worry, I'll ask the bus driver to wait for few more minutes while you change your uniform". WOW, Wasn't that easy ? My daughter will go to school with a big smile on her face. And more importantly, the happy woman in me is flashing the happy smile on my S too. Every body's day goes off well and I am happy that I've been instrumental in that.

Just by reacting differently to the whole scenario, I made myself feel happy. So, its all inside us - how you react is how you'll feel.

Lesson 2 :

Being grateful in life, for all that you have, is the secret to happiness in your life.

Scene - Prayer before bedtime, with my girls.

The regular questions which I face are - Is God hearing our prayers ? Can he understand, if I ask for an iPod, and give it to me ? How can he help in my studies, when I can't see him ? And many more like this.

Usual me - Pray to God with a sincere heart and he'll grant all your wishes. By encouraging my daughters, when they are asking for more and more things, I've enabled them to understand that the keyword is - keep asking but ask sincerely.

The New Me - The new order in my home is this - Prayers at bedtime are not meant for asking for things, instead they are for thanking God for all that he has given to us. I am insisting on my girls to list 3 things everyday, for which they are extremely thankful to God. Also, I make them write down those things. Eventually, they'll come to understand that we have so many things to be happy about in life.

I hope that I am imparting a great lesson to my children to follow in their lives, for which I am grateful to God. By being grateful, I found the key to my happiness.

Shiamak - a hype ??????

I had been listening to reviews by various people about the Dance classes run by Shiamak Davar and all of them vouched that its a great thing to do.

As a new branch was opened near to my home, I enrolled my 2 daughters for Winter Funk, last year. Alas, our bad luck, the show was cancelled due the Mumbai terror attacks at Taj. Since my girls were totally disappointed by the cancellation of the stage show, I decided to enroll them for the Summer Funk, this year.

The classes began on 25th Apr and ended by 9th May - that was a total of 15 classes of 1 hr duration each. The show was held on 10th May, which turned out to be quite a disappointment for me. 38 batches from various branches in the city, performed for nearly two and half hours. But only 2 or 3 dances made their way into my heart.

This made me sit down and ponder at the following things, which could have been done in a much better way.
- It sadly showed that there were not enough rehearsals, to achieve that perfect finish on stage.
- During the 2 weeks of dance class, first week is spent on choosing a song and in the second week we are made to run between tailor to tailor for getting the costume done. Don't forget the prop - that should also be made ready. At least, they can guide us to a good tailor. Nah ! Its all for you to find out and get it done.
- For the amount of money they charge us as course fees, there could have been more classes for rehearsals and to achieve a good synchronisation among the dancers.
- In a group of more than 25 people dancing on stage, only those in the front row do the dancing part right. Sorry, the ones in the back row take it easy on certain steps.
- I also found so many steps repeated among many groups.
- On the whole, I had spent for the classes, the costume and also for the tickets to watch the show by my daughters.

Shiamak seems to be a better businessman than a dancer was my overall impression. The proof is the number of branches they have opened so far.

The only satisfying thing in this whole episode was that my daughters had great fun, enjoyed dancing and also gave a stage show. Shiamak was also present to add glamour to the whole show.

The hype created around this Shiamak Davar Dance Classes were so much, that I expected a much more better performance, better choreography and better costumes. And because of the high levels of expectations, I was hit with disappointment. Some of the costumes were really in need of re-design. I think that lot of consideration should be given to the costume while designing, so that the dancer is totally comfortable in that dress - only then the moves will be done to perfection.

I think I satisfied my daughter's wish to join this dance class and perform on stage. I am happy doing it for my daughters even though I am not convinced about the whole thing.

My plans for the Summer !

At last, the Summer vacations have begun, of course, for my girls. And everybody keeps asking me - What are your plans for this vacation ? Where are you going ?

When I asked myself this question, I was absolutely sure of the answer, which is - I would love to chill at my home, sweet home.

But Why ? Why ? Why ?????

Now, let me justify my point. In a country like India, it's hot or scorching hot during May, when summer is at its peak. So, even if I plan a trip, I am sure, I cannot escape from the hot rays of the burning sun. And how can I go on a sight seeing trip, when I am being barbecued alive?

OK. OK. I can go to a hill resort, where I can hide under the chill. But, how long can I do that ? May be a week ??? Then, I am again back to the hot, hot city, where I live.

Now that I've decided to stay put in my home during summer, what's my agenda for the holidays ?

One thing is for definite - more cooking time - as the need for snacks increases when children are there at home. I've been gifted a wonderful baking recipes book by my best friend and I intend to try out a lot of things from the book. Cheers to the baker in me !

Also, I am planning to enroll my girls for some summer classes, which will keep them busy for a few hours everyday. This vacation is the right time for them to catch up with their hobbies, as the academic year is almost spent on studies. My God ! What a huge syllabus they cover in one year ? Worse still, is the need to keep up with the competition.

Fortunately, there is a swimming pool in our apartment, where I can fight against the terrible heat. At the same time, I'll be battling against my belly bulge, through vigorous swimming exercises. Now, this is what I call as 3B - Battle with Belly Bulge.

Hey ! Now, some constructive thinking and planning are happening, I am sure that this vacation will keep us all busy. I am also desperately trying to win the 3B. Wish me luck for this battle.

Then and Now (Part II) - The Television

Since the Television is the centre piece in one's living room and also because it has taken the prime times of enjoyment out of any body's life, I've decided to allot one full blog about this wonderful TV.

Then - When I was young, we had only one TV Channel - THE DOORDARSHAN and that was the best for all of us. The whole family - starting from my grand parents till my youngest brother were so happy with the range of programs we all had. We had a regional channel of the Doordarshan(called Podhigai), which used to telecast Tamil programs during particular time slots. One movie per week, one collection of super hit songs in Tamil (1/2 hr program per week) - were the favourite programs in the whole Tamil Nadu.
Me and my sister used to watch the Hindi dominated Doordarshan and loved to watch Chitrahaar, Rangoli, Hindi movies. But with limited TV time, we had so much time to do other things - playing, cleaning the house, visiting relatives or friends, going to the temple, helping my mother in cooking and many more. This kind of helping around has moulded me to be a better person today.

Now - My Tata Sky has more than 130 channels, when not one of us even surf through them on a given day. I hardly watch TV and if I get to the remote, its my favorite Travel and Living. Very rarely, I get to watch a good English movie in HBO / Zee Studio / Star Movies.
My Mr.S is hooked onto the Sports and News Channel like the many other men in this whole wide world, but with his crazy work schedules, he manages only an hour a day. Of course, forgive him on those days when the Indian Cricket Team is out on any of the cricket grounds, for a ball by ball viewing and not to forget the highlights.
The NEWS channels are also too many and to make their programs to the top list, these channels make News out of nothing too. Too much of hype about sensitive issues have lead to serious consequences. It's come to a stage, when we can't watch even the NEWS channel along with our children - as you never know, what picture or image that's making news will be aired next.
The kids have about 10 to 15 channels for themselves and mind it - ALL THE PROGRAMS ARE BORING !!!!!! Only one or two is good enough to watch for the time being. And I am sure that this is sure to change over the next six months. And these music channels - What will they do if they have to telecast music for 24 hrs a day ? Keep repeating a particular set of songs over and over, till my daughter learns them by-heart. Its too much for me to hear them on a daily basis.
As though all this is not enough, my daughter wants to switch to TATA SKY PLUS, where you can record programs which you are unable to watch at the time of telecast and view them at your own time of leisure. This one is sure to give me headaches. Because, I know I'll be sweet talked to record programs for each member of the family, whenever they want it.
I just totally dislike the idea of planning your life based on the TV programs. There are some people who don't like to entertain guests or visit others during the time of their favourite serials. Are the serials more important than your relatives / friends???? And these are the people, who'll ignore a guest and continue watching their favourite soaps.
OK, with one TV per home, have the people learnt to share the view time with everybody in the family ? Then why a big war is fought for the mere possession of the REMOTE. Whoever has the Remote, has the Control !!!
As though all these are not enough, there are homes where there is a TV in the bedrooms too. I'll be guilty, if I don't accept that my home too is on this list. So, you sleep with a TV and wake up with one also. While kids watch the TV in the living area, my Mr. S watches in the bedroom. And imagine me shuttling between the lovable husband and my adorable daughters !!!
To conclude, let me put it like this - The Television is a necessary Devil in the any house. Let us allot specific time to watch one or two programs. Children can develop their creative abilities or pursue their passion (singing / dancing / crafts), instead of watching repeated telecasts in TV. Just, by talking so much about this TV, I am no way going to throw it out of my home. Let us learn to live with it but make sure that this IDIOT BOX doesn't rule our HOMES !

Then and Now !

What is this - Then and Now ? Here I want to write about my childhood days in Then and my daughters related childhood happenings in Now. I always keep talking to my girls about this - when I was young, I used to do things like this and that. And so many talks have happened between us, that its time to blog them all.

Then - I had the freedom to play without being dampened by my school routines. Since we lived in houses (apartments were not there), the play area is the street in which we lived. And all the kids in the street joined together in evening, to play the same game everyday. I can even remember, that we've played the same run and catch for so many days. Then it was the seven pillars - that craze went on for so many days. Then it was the turn of Hopscotch, Kho Kho, Hide and Seek. What I want to tell is that we were not BORED of playing, as long as we played everyday.

Now - My girls are growing up in the apartment culture, where people from different parts of India live together. Its such a great thing as we get to know about various cultures. Even though there are enough children here to have 10 cricket teams, the surprising part is that these kids have formed groups among themselves - based upon whether their frequencies matching up. Huh ! And, I am more shocked by this line, - Ma, its boring - almost everyday. These children can't play the same game even for 2 times in a row. That's considered boring. So, in a two-hour playtime, how many games can they play without getting bored ? Their interest span, for anything, is very low.

Then - During play time, its only play, play, play. Of course, we also did our chit chat sessions, during break times. But never did any one of us brought the tape recorder or a radio out to play. First, it was so expensive to possess one, in those days. Second, the parents banned the kid to take any of the stuff out to play. And we were all more interested in playing together that we didn't even think about taking the gadgets to the road.

Now - Any kid that comes to play, is attached to an ipod, mp3 player or at least a mobile phone, through the earphone jack. How can these children run and play, with a music player singing with them ? What is the need for such display of gadgets, while playing ?

Then - I have learnt carnatic music - it is a must for all kids in the traditional South Indian families. Me and my sister used to go this class together. And, in my class, we were taught the basic lessons through hearsay. No notes, to begin with. So, whatever the teacher teaches us today, we've to recite it by-heart in the next class. We learnt every lesson with such focus and concentration, that after 30 years, I am still able to recite them from memory.

Now - I also sent my girls to the music class - as is the tradition. Unfortunately for me, my eldest daughter decided that singing is not for her, at a very early age. And nothing I did, could make her go to the music class. The younger one has a good voice and started singing very well. When we shifted to our new home, the classes stopped just like that. Now, she just can't remember the basic music lessons which she learned just 4 years back. Where is the focus of these children gone ? The filmi songs stay in mind, as the girls listens to it everyday - thanks to MTV, V or the various music players.

Then - There was no concept of maids in my home. So, me and my sister were allotted house hold chores from the beginning and it became an inherent part of my life. Before leaving home for school, I'll have to sweep or mop the house and my sister will do other one. And we've to wash our clothes by ourselves, dry them in the terrace, before leaving to school. My mother will help us only in washing our uniforms. Sorry, no electronic help too in our house, then.

Now - I have a maid to clean the house and a washing machine to wash clothes. But, simple tasks like drying the clothes, putting the clothes in the laundry basket, setting the table for lunch / dinner and then cleaning the table, have to be given as instructions everyday. Today's children are lost in their own world, that all these things are taken for granted - ma will do it attitude.

Then - The world was a better place, then, for my parents to leave me unattended while playing on the streets. Me and my sister used to walk to school, everyday and later on took up the responsibilities of taking my brother and cousins. Even though we stayed quite near to the Marina beach, it'll take us about 30 mins to reach the beach. And we used to enjoy the walk so much that those were the quality family times, I remember very well. I started travelling by the bus, at an age of 15. Going to places on my own, was very exciting for me and it was easy for my parents to take that decision - as the world was much better to live in.

Now - My children are so used to travelling in the bike / car / auto, that the thought of a short distance of walk would wear them down. And the idea of allowing my girls to go on their own is scary to me, first. The world is in such a state now, that the girls better be escorted.

Now, I feel, that I've complained quite a lot about the NOW kids. But, that's not the intention and should not be taken like that. Its just facts told in the times of my childhood and that of my girls. Actually, today's kids are more smarter, have more exposure to various things (both good and bad - which makes our job more difficult) and can decide better for themselves.

So, just like our children, we parents are in the process of learning as everyday goes by. I just remember this at the junction to end my blog - By the time a man understands that his father had been RIGHT all the time (that happens when he becomes a father), there is his son who thinks that his father knows NOTHING. I think this is the life cycle.

Edited to add :

The way my thoughts are spinning in my head after I published the post, I think there'll be a Then and Now - Part II, very soon.