Pending Tags....

I was seriously thinking of joining the WP bandwagon for some days now. And since Swaram's awesome conversion, my mind is not at all here. It wants to be a part of WP.

We should be the change that we want to see in the world. So, I am changing to WP for experiencing the changes that I wanted so badly in Blogspot. Put it that way, I dont feel so bad.
HeHeHe, Gave a new meaning to that line, to suit me.

So, to read my pending tags by Nancy and Swaram, please visit me at
http://umsreflections.wordpress.com

I'll be waiting there, to welcome you all to my new pages !!!!!
I am off right now, as I've some WORDs PRESSing me to publish them. See you at WP !
Also, remember to follow my blogs using my new link !!!!

Are you a good parent ?

This happened to one of my friend's cousin, say S, who is just about 17 yrs old. She is very calm and quiet, refusing to mingle with others. When I enquired about her, I was told that she is undergoing psychiatric treatment.

OMG ! I was saddened by the whole story !!!!!!!

When S finished her 10th standard, her parents put her in junior college to do her 12th board exams, in the maths and science category. So S joined the hostel to stay close to her junior college. But after an year of her studies, S felt that all the studies and preparing for the entrance exams are just too much for her and she requested her parents to come and take her back home. But since she had already finished one year of studies, her parents tried to convince her that everything will workout fine. And then came the board exams and it was such a bad luck for S as she failed to get selected to any of the prestigious engineering colleges in the city.

Now, her parents decided that S continue to train in the junior college, so that she can write the entrance exams again and may be she'll be selected in any of the engineering colleges in the next year. It was at this time, that S requested so many times that she doesn't like to continue the studies. But in vain, the parents never listened to her - her problems - why she doesn't want to continue.

The result - S is under depression - of the severe order. She now wants to break away from everything. So, S had been advised psychiatric help and is now under medication. She is so dazed because of the medication that she doesn't communicate with anybody. Now, she is undergoing training for meditation, to channelise her energies.

A very confused, depressed little girl - all thanks to her parents.

My questions are

• Is it justified that the parents always tell (or probably force) what their child has to study or do in their life ?
• Why are the parents (so called matured adults) so much obsessed with this engineering or medicine courses ?
• Whatever the parents were not able to do, when they were young, can they force it on their children to satisfy their inner self ?
• Don't the parents need to ask the child, if they are willing to do a particular course or more importantly - What does the child want to do in life ?

Why don't we give freedom to a boy or girl, who is 16 / 17 yrs old, to choose whatever they want to do in life ? I am not denying the responsibility of the parents in the whole decision process. The parents can guide them, give them inputs, help them to choose from different options available - but never force them to study a particular subject.

In today's world, there are so many ways to satisfy the soul. Starting from a beautician, fashion designer, an artist, an author, a lyricist, an environmentalist, dancer, singer, journalist, animal welfare worker, potter, chef - you can be anybody you want. The satisfaction that is achieved by working on your passionate goal is just something that words cannot describe.

Not everybody who is born on this earth can be an engineer or a doctor. It is total absurdity to think on those lines.

This request is for all those parents who come across my blog - Please allow your children to be what they want to be. Don't ever force your children to study a particular subject or take some course - just to satisfy your own inner desires. Be there as a guiding light, a beacon, for your children. Support them with all your capacity.

Already, in this world filled with scientific gadgets, we've lost the so called innocence in our children. Now, lets not lose our children to the confines of depression.

Act of kindness

Its been in my thoughts for the past two days and its better I blog it down.
Two days back, me and Srini went to drop our daughters in the school. While coming back home, Srini asked me whether I would like to have breakfast in a hotel. I responded with a big smile, as I cherish these moments of togetherness.
After eating breakfast, when we were coming out of the hotel, suddenly Srini asked me to wait near the entrance and rushed inside. I was wondering what it could be that made him rush inside. Anyway, he came out and gave me a parcel, told that it was idly and sambar. He then asked me to give to the old lady who was sitting outside the hotel asking for alms.
I was pleasantly surprised and deeply touched with Srini's act of kindness.
This display of kindness made me think a lot. A simple act like giving food to one person is the best way to show "you care". It gave me so much satisfaction to see the happy smiling face of the old lady, who blessed me too. I feel that this kind act is much better, as the recognition is instantaneous.
May God give me and Srini the strength and the heart to perform many more acts of kindness.

Unforgettable day of my life

At last, I've found the courage to write about this. Its been 2 years that this incident happened in my home and now, I've decided to type it out. The reason being that letting it out will bring solace to my heart and soul.
We had shifted to our new flat in the May of 2006 and all the wood work were done by July end.
At this time, Srini got a Faber Chimney (Mesh type) and had it fixed. I was elated and proud
about my new home and it looked great.
It was the 25th of Dec, 2006 and I had my house full of people who had come for vacation - my
mother-in-law, my brother-in-law and family, my sister-in-law and family. Actually, I love having people around and I was sure that this vacation will be a memorable one.
My new maid of 1 month, was there to help me prepare breakfast. I told her to fry puris and I had just gone out of the kitchen to serve coffee for my in-laws and puris for kids. Everybody was so excited meeting with each other, the kids loved eating puris and even the elders were waiting to bite into breakfast. As the kids were finishing, I was calling all the others to join for breakfast.
Suddenly, from my living room, I could see flames from my oil pan and the chimney was fast
catching it, as the chimney was ON and it was sucking the fumes of oil. It was an accident, where
water from wet hands or whatever has sprayed on the hot oil and the result was total chaos. From a moment of happiness and laughter, we were all pushed into tears and sadness over the whole incident. All of us stood there watching helplessly, my chimney burn, melt and fall onto my gas stove beneath it. In a matter of 30 mins, nothing was left of the chimney and my gas stove also fell prey to this.
Here, I have to thank the three men, Srini, Ramesh anna (my brother-in-law), Govindarajan
athimber (my sister-in-law's husband), who stood like pillars of strength, especially for me. They cleaned up the kitchen which was totally filled with black soot, re-painted the kitchen walls, bought me a new gas stove and made many an effort to make me feel better. My heartfelt gratitude for these 3 strong men, who helped the whole family to have a good time together.
I wanted to talk about it, mainly cry about it to somebody. But I thought that it was better that the whole incident is forgotten about, and I carried on. But, I used to get disturbing dreams that something is burning. When we go out, I used to think that I've left something on my gas and it was burning.
I felt miserable with these disturbing thoughts. One side, my heart wants to forget the incident and on the other hand, I am getting these dreams. Oh God, what should I do?
In the month of April, I just happened to see a small white patch in my forehead. Everybody said that it was a sunburn. But it was the beginning of VITILIGO or LEUKODERMA. When Allopathy medicines didn't help, I sought the help of a homeopath. He was a Godsend to me. Whether he gave me good medicines or not, he counselled me very well. This person instructed me to talk about the chimney incident to as many people as possible. The more I talk about it, the less stressful I'll be. This stress on my unconscious mind had triggered this Vitiligo, which is basically melanin deficiency. And I started losing the colour of my skin in patches all over the body.
After his counselling, I've spoken to many a people about this and of course, I've taken
homeopathy medicines for one year and it did help me a lot. Now I am under Ayurveda
medication and I hope that it will help me to overcome this Vitiligo. I am healing a lot with this
ayurvedic medicines, thanks to the courage of my loved ones.
But more than all these medicines, the most important thing is always thinking good and positive about future. I've built upon my friends circle here, so that there is always somebody to whom I
can express my concerns and fears. I also try and keep myself busy, eventually not giving scope to the mind for unnecessary thoughts. I had gone for yoga classes for 4 months and the pranayams have really helped me heal. Now I am going for dancexercise classes. My idea is to join in group activities as they make you healthy in mind and body.
Thank you dear ones, for listening to me ! It made me feel better.

Your wish will be granted !

This is amazing but true ! These true incidents which I want to share, have changed my thinking a lot. Let me explain these experiences first.
Srini, my wonderful husband, is so lovable, caring and a great person to be with. And he always
makes sure that our daughters get the quality time with him, even though the work pressure is
very high for him. But the past 1 year has been highly hectic for Srini and he was very much into official work all 24 * 7.
Even though he took great efforts to spend the same quality time with the girls, the workload was getting into his personal time also. When we did go out during weekends, Srini was constantly being called on the phone ( Dont u think that this mobile phone has snatched quality family moments from us ?). Even though the girls didnt mind or notice this, I was feeling very unhappy about the situation.
I wanted the situation to change - I wanted Srini to have more leisure time to spend with our girls, as it was before this high work pressure.
It was a Saturday and I was talking aloud my thoughts to my friend. I wished loudly ( for the whole world to hear ?) and prayed sincerely for it to happen.
Sunday morning - I got up early and had made idly, sambar and chutney for breakfast. I was
waiting for Srini and the girls to wake up so that we can have breakfast together.
MIRACLE - Srini wakes up, comes to me and says "If u have made breakfast, just pack it. Wake
up the girls, we're going for a long drive. We can stop the car on the way, and have breakfast in a
natural surrounding." I was so happy. I thanked the whole universe for listening to my loud wish which was granted to me in a day. Things have changed a lot after wishing aloud and I am happy to tell u that we have many quality family moments, as before.
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2nd experience.
This is about a person who stays in my apartment. I know her for sometime. Whenever we meet, we used to talk well and share a lot of things. But because she's working, more interaction was not possible between us. Generally we meet during our evening walks.
But suddenly, I noticed a change in her. She was not talking to me like before. Even though this
didnt bother me so much, I really wished to know the reason behind this sudden change. And
surprisingly, I got a Hi5 request from her.
Now, I again did the same thing - I wished loudly for things to change.
MIRACLE - Two days later, I met her in a shop nearby, and she couldn't stop talking to me. She
went on and on about the things that are happenning and kindly enquired about me and my
family. I am happy and surprised.
--------------

What does these experiences teach me ? I thought so much and this is what I've realised :- When u wish aloud - it reaches to all the corners of this universe. And all the elements in this
universe and the people around u make it happen for u.
I think this is all to do with positive vibes around u. Instead of sulking about a situation and always talking about the wrong / bad things happening to u, talk about the change u wish for. Talk about the positive things that u want to happen in ur life. Talk loudly - either to yourself or find somebody to talk to. I can assure u that the whole world will conspire to grant u the wish.

What is ur dream ?

The life cycle of my DREAM -
18 yrs - I feel on top of the world, as I had finished my Diploma course as a topper, best student of the year, got a job offer even before my diploma certificate - is there anything else I want? Nope, I am too happy with the way life was leading me. I sincerely hope to complete my engg graduation in 2 years time. My life's ambition now is to join with software giant, MICROSOFT. Not a bad goal, right ?

19 yrs - Applied for engg graduation. I've to free myself from the work pressure and go and attend the evening classes - but alas, not one class happens. I am disappointed at myself for not taking the classes seriously. The exams come and go, without me in it. Next year, I'll surely do it.

20 yrs - I can actually put a ditto here - for I failed with myself for not completing my graduation. I punished myself hard, but no vain.

21 yrs - The job is boring - rather I want to do something else - this is not what I wanted in life. The graduation part not happening, I wanted to change job or do something irrational (exaggeration) in my life. I fell ill, which is the reason I chose to resign from job.

23 yrs - Change of job. Now into a software company, I thought I'll realise my dream - MICROSOFT. I kept working hard, learning all the possible things on the way. I was happy with the way things were happening.

24 yrs - What is this ? Here comes my Prince on a horse and just carries me away !!! I am engaged and married within a matter of 6 months. Now what happens to my dream? Am I happy to have found a good partner in life or am I sad that my dream has taken a side seat now ? Dream on hold, for now.

26 yrs - Mother of two girls, resigned from job as there is no full-time support at home. OK, where is my dream ? I have left it somewhere in my suitcase, during the process of motherhood. Don't lose ur dream - I am telling myself - u can pursue it when the girls r big enough.

27 - 30 yrs - In a feeble attempt to protect my dream or actually the person I was when I was working, I did a lot of things. To keep my mind from wandering into nonsense jungle that surrounds us, I did a lot of things - glass paintings, stitching to name a few. I didn't want lose ME- the person I wanted to be, when I was young.

31 yrs - Very tough year in my life - I was left alone to handle my girls, my ailing mil - my hubby was in another city as he couldn't get a transfer. I've cried so many lonely nights - whats happening to my life ? I am so and so for lot of people, but I am not what I wanted to do.

I am searching for the suitcase which had my dream - but the suitcase itself is missing.

32 yrs to till now - I am now in Hyd - away from my dream suitcase now. I feel free to do something else with my life. I've changed in the process of shifting, I feel. Actually the change has happened all along, which I was unable to see. This change is what makes u a family person, first. The priorities in life have gone for a total revamp. My dream suitcase is in the loft of my brain, safely secured. The suitcase has done its job - it has kept me going in times of despair - in maintaining my sanity and now its gone to its proper place. My daughters are my dream now. Their dreams are my vision, my goal. I am striving very hard to assist them in whatever they do - GOD, LET MY GIRLS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS.

Found my long lost friends !

I am on the net, 8.30am, in the site of bsnl chennai enquiry. Trying to locate a phone no is no big deal, using the bsnl enquiry, if u know a name or address. But without knowing both name or address, I am desperately looking into all the names and phone nos, which might resemble my need of the hour.
Let me clear the cloud. I am looking out for my friends, Janaki and Meenakshi, with whom I've spent many a wonderful day, while all of us were schooling at Childrens Garden School, Mylapore. I just remember their house too well - a two storeyed house - joint family - two brothers occupying the two floors. I can go to their house even now, I remember its exact location, the bus route - so many things, except the house no. The street name is vaguely coming back to memory, but is that enough to search for them on the net ? GOD help me.
Now, I cannot search in my friend's name, for they'll be married and gone to their own houses. So what's my friends' father's name ? I search my entire memory, in vain.
OK, next option, search for some house no and the street name, which i think is right.
Now, I've a big list in my screen, from which I just cant decide on which number should I call.
First I was confused - then I focussed my brain and decided on a few names which sounded like Hindu names.
Now, the first call - one uncle answered telling me he was quite new to that area. He cannot be the person I am looking for, as my friends are in that house of their own since the 1980s, as far as I know.
Second,third, fourth call - disappointment - they dont know anybody called Janaki or Meenakshi.
Dear GOD, Will I find them ? Actually, I am having this passionate urge to talk with them for quite sometime, and its only today I've actually made an effort.
Fifth call - BINGO ! The person who answered was Janaki's father, who was quite helpful and gave me the mobile nos of my friends.
And when I called Meenakshi, she was stunned, surprised, happy - exactly returning my feelings. And Janaki, she just couldn't believe its me, but was very very happy. And now we decide to KEEP IN TOUCH. It matters a lot, as u get older.