Happiness Journey

As per my blogosphere friend's request, here I am, blogging about the journey of Happiness through different stages of life - as understood from Dr Deepak Chopra.

Dr Deepak Chopra specialised in internal medicine and was practising in California, before he took up Ayurveda. Further, he started concentrating more on the mind - body connections and advocates self-awareness and meditation as primary factors in both illness and healing.

There is this show in NDTV Good Times called "Happiness - A Journey with Deepak Chopra" which greatly appealed to me. And, this show is aired on Mondays & Saturdays 7.30 pm IST. Generally, 7.30pm shows in NDTV GT are about yoga, meditation and the alternate methods for peace and health.

In this series, Dr DC talks about finding happiness in various aspects of life like - love, work, death etc. The thoughts shared were simple, yet carried a profound meaning to it. I'll try my level best to remember Dr DC's thoughts and write them down.

• There can 101 ways to beat stress like meditation, swimming, yoga and many more. But the most powerful ones are those times spent with your friend / spouse / partner doing some activity, where MONEY is not involved. Play a game of tennis or badminton, walk a few miles - any activity with a buddy is sure a great stress buster. When money is not involved, it brings in great happiness to play with friends and hence greater relief from stress.
• As Lord Krishna advocates in his Bhagvad Gita, an employee also should live the life of KARMA YOGI. It means that - Just keep doing the work about which you are passionate about, but don't await the outcome of your work. If you love what you are doing, then the end result should never matter to you. Great musicians, artists have all created wonders - but never with the intention of selling and making money. If it happens later as a gradual process, then learn to accept it. But, the point is, Be passionate about your work, Work more passionately, Never think about the outcome. By living the life of Karma Yogi in the work place, the employee is totally satisfied - you can never find a more satisfied and happy human being at work.
• The human body is made of matter, as are all the things in this earth. So, why do we think that the human body is destroyed after death ? Matter can never be destroyed. It just exists in different forms. By thinking that the person who died, is existing in this earth in some other form, will bring in some serenity to the mind. Its all in the mind - what you make your mind to think, is what you'll feel later.
• When two people meet and talk, each person starts to exist in the conscience of the other. This kind of communication through the conscience is very powerful and intent. It also helps in feeling the other person's presence, even when they are not near us. This feeling is a great happiness contributor, when the other person meets with death.

Dr DC's thoughts and expressions were many more, which I am having trouble in bringing them to memory. Once, I do it, I'll be sure to write them also.

Finally, our happiness is within us. Nothing outside can affect this happiness within. We are responsible for our own happiness. How we react to situations, how we work passionately, how we treat our friends, how are we treated by our enemies - anything and everything should not affect our inner happiness.

I love being a MOM !

So, I've been tagged again, by Reflections. But this time, its something close to my heart and brings such warmth thinking about it, that I am feeling sad that I should write ONLY 5 things I love being a Mom. If I my list goes beyond 5, I am not responsible, its the motherly instincts that have taken over me. OK !

1. First of all, I am so proud being a Mom, as I had created two wonderful lives inside me and when I look upon them now, so grown up (my daughters are teenagers) and taller than me, sometimes I choke with tears.

2. When ever my S starts telling my girls about his childhood days, my daughters call me and ask "Really, Mom ? Is that so?" Even for my husband's childhood stories (of which I was never a part of), the YES stamp has to come from me. When I point it out to them, they refuse to believe (even now, when they are little grown up) anything, without my nod. That kind of blind belief on me, makes me strive harder to be a better mother than what I am now.

3. The quiet afternoons on the bed, spent with my daughters, listening to their stories about friends, about their ideas of life, silly questions about sex, birth and my attempt at answering those without lying to them - those are such wonderful moments to die for. That is a time of realisation for me, on how much my daughters value my advice. I am absolutely delighted to be a part of their lives in moulding their careers, personality, behaviour - actually I am proud to be their MOM.

4. Those proud moments when my daughters gets appreciated in school for outstanding performance and when the teachers call us up and applaud for being gifted with such wonderful daughters - Oh! I am blessed to be a mother of these 2 girls.

5. When I am being credited for the creative skills which my daughter has inherited, I am elated. Sometimes, I can see that my daughters are desperately trying to do things the way I do. That is another proud moment to be a mother.

6. My life's best award was given by my daughters, when they go ooh hoo aah haa over my cooking. My little one always says that I should have been a Chef at a 5 star hotel for the way I am cooking or I should start my Cooking Show (like Nigella Lawson). Imagine being placed on par with Nigella !!! My girls favourite slogan goes like - Taste mein best, Mummy aur ..... (whatever dish they are eating right then).

7. Those moments when the girls ask me to repeat their childhood stories - again and again and again - make me a proud mother, but we've never got bored with the stories. The best times are also when we look through our photo album when my girls were in diapers.

8. When I being tightly hugged by both my girls, kissed on the cheek and flowered with the title - Mom, you are the best ! This is one moment which cannot equate my entire life on earth.

I think this list might just be going on, as there are many more moments to share. But, since this is a tag, I stop here convinced that Motherhood is indeed the greatest pedestal to be, indeed.

My Lessons !

I've been learning a few things in the past few days, which have made me pause and take a different look at life. These insights into life, make us a better human being for tomorrow.

Lesson 1 :

No person or incident can make you less happy in life. The happiness factor depends upon - how you react to the incident or the person.

Scene - Early morning 6.45 at the breakfast table.

My girls are having milk and scrambled egg for breakfast. I am busy plaiting my daughter's hair. At that time, I hear the horn of the school bus. OMG, the bus has come nearly 10 minutes early. My daughter, reacting to my frenzied pace, started gulping down her milk pretty fast. As I am requesting the bus driver to wait for my daughters, I hear my daughters plea to come and help her. Alas, the milk had spilled on her uniform.

Usual me - Start shouting at my girls for not being efficient in doing things, always being clumsy etc etc. My daughter will go to school with a grumpy face, which might affect her attentiveness at class. The screaming woman in me will be displayed to the hubby dear also, which can spoil his whole day at work.

The New Me - Because of my new learning, I faced the situation in a calm and peaceful way. I smiled at my daughter and said "Its OK, dear. It happens to us also. Don't worry, I'll ask the bus driver to wait for few more minutes while you change your uniform". WOW, Wasn't that easy ? My daughter will go to school with a big smile on her face. And more importantly, the happy woman in me is flashing the happy smile on my S too. Every body's day goes off well and I am happy that I've been instrumental in that.

Just by reacting differently to the whole scenario, I made myself feel happy. So, its all inside us - how you react is how you'll feel.

Lesson 2 :

Being grateful in life, for all that you have, is the secret to happiness in your life.

Scene - Prayer before bedtime, with my girls.

The regular questions which I face are - Is God hearing our prayers ? Can he understand, if I ask for an iPod, and give it to me ? How can he help in my studies, when I can't see him ? And many more like this.

Usual me - Pray to God with a sincere heart and he'll grant all your wishes. By encouraging my daughters, when they are asking for more and more things, I've enabled them to understand that the keyword is - keep asking but ask sincerely.

The New Me - The new order in my home is this - Prayers at bedtime are not meant for asking for things, instead they are for thanking God for all that he has given to us. I am insisting on my girls to list 3 things everyday, for which they are extremely thankful to God. Also, I make them write down those things. Eventually, they'll come to understand that we have so many things to be happy about in life.

I hope that I am imparting a great lesson to my children to follow in their lives, for which I am grateful to God. By being grateful, I found the key to my happiness.