18 yrs - I feel on top of the world, as I had finished my Diploma course as a topper, best student of the year, got a job offer even before my diploma certificate - is there anything else I want? Nope, I am too happy with the way life was leading me. I sincerely hope to complete my engg graduation in 2 years time. My life's ambition now is to join with software giant, MICROSOFT. Not a bad goal, right ?
19 yrs - Applied for engg graduation. I've to free myself from the work pressure and go and attend the evening classes - but alas, not one class happens. I am disappointed at myself for not taking the classes seriously. The exams come and go, without me in it. Next year, I'll surely do it.
20 yrs - I can actually put a ditto here - for I failed with myself for not completing my graduation. I punished myself hard, but no vain.
21 yrs - The job is boring - rather I want to do something else - this is not what I wanted in life. The graduation part not happening, I wanted to change job or do something irrational (exaggeration) in my life. I fell ill, which is the reason I chose to resign from job.
23 yrs - Change of job. Now into a software company, I thought I'll realise my dream - MICROSOFT. I kept working hard, learning all the possible things on the way. I was happy with the way things were happening.
24 yrs - What is this ? Here comes my Prince on a horse and just carries me away !!! I am engaged and married within a matter of 6 months. Now what happens to my dream? Am I happy to have found a good partner in life or am I sad that my dream has taken a side seat now ? Dream on hold, for now.
26 yrs - Mother of two girls, resigned from job as there is no full-time support at home. OK, where is my dream ? I have left it somewhere in my suitcase, during the process of motherhood. Don't lose ur dream - I am telling myself - u can pursue it when the girls r big enough.
27 - 30 yrs - In a feeble attempt to protect my dream or actually the person I was when I was working, I did a lot of things. To keep my mind from wandering into nonsense jungle that surrounds us, I did a lot of things - glass paintings, stitching to name a few. I didn't want lose ME- the person I wanted to be, when I was young.
31 yrs - Very tough year in my life - I was left alone to handle my girls, my ailing mil - my hubby was in another city as he couldn't get a transfer. I've cried so many lonely nights - whats happening to my life ? I am so and so for lot of people, but I am not what I wanted to do.
I am searching for the suitcase which had my dream - but the suitcase itself is missing.
32 yrs to till now - I am now in Hyd - away from my dream suitcase now. I feel free to do something else with my life. I've changed in the process of shifting, I feel. Actually the change has happened all along, which I was unable to see. This change is what makes u a family person, first. The priorities in life have gone for a total revamp. My dream suitcase is in the loft of my brain, safely secured. The suitcase has done its job - it has kept me going in times of despair - in maintaining my sanity and now its gone to its proper place. My daughters are my dream now. Their dreams are my vision, my goal. I am striving very hard to assist them in whatever they do - GOD, LET MY GIRLS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS.
1 comment:
How I agree with u on all this. I tell myself when I see my erstwhile colleagues that, they have had their changes and i have had mine. I am content for most part with what I have but there is always that little longing.
My only regret is that the last two years heve not been personally satisfying. I have not done one thing to improve my health or my academics or anything.
Atlease I want to give back a little of what I have got back to the world.
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